This certainly is a summer of transition and change. Making a multi-state move the day after being discharged from the hospital with a newborn in tow in itself is an
Now that we live in the heart of Cardinal love I will have to brush up on my Country Grammar (haha), BBQing skills, and re-learn to appreciate the slower pace of life (for the most part). However, settling into a new home, neighborhood, city, and state, on top of the other changes, has been (to put it lightly) overwhelming. At least for me. I did have a tremendous amount of help in the initial first few weeks from my Mom - which was SO awesome - I highly recommend to anyone that has someone offering it!
However, just for my sanity I find I need to put thoughts into words here to work them out, so if you can bear with me (is that even the correct word to use there? I never know). I naively thought that just having our child would automatically make me a parent. A Mom. And it did, technically. But there was so much more to it that I knew, but I didn't know. Despite an awesome lady trying to explain it and prepare me for some of the aspects, I still found myself wholly unprepared.
I knew I was a Mom when I had a beautiful stranger placed in my arms and she snuggled up to my chest, but I wasn't fully initiated into the wonderful group of Moms just yet. For me it seemed to really hit home when I had spit up down my shirt and I was more concerned about her than cleaning myself up. When I had a sweat stain the size of a baby on the front of my dress (from her being in the Bjorn) at a party meeting people and not caring, when I had a screaming baby up the entire night because she was experiencing discomfort, when she literally had a 'blow out' in her diaper and I didn't even flinch when cleaning her up (when did poop become not a big deal?!), finally getting her to sleep and just laying down when she starts crying again, the ridiculous level of guilt over anything I didn't do perfectly, rocking her in her rocking chair with my foot for hours, feeling helpless when I can't comfort her or make it better, overcoming my discomfort feeding her in public because she was hungry and I had no other options (still working on this one).
But don't get me wrong. There are also plenty of awesome things we've experienced. Like hearing her giggle in her sleep, when she falls asleep in my arms or on my chest, getting a random smile (even if not directed at me - I'll take it!), when just picking her up could comfort her, getting to watch her develop and meet different developmental milestones, and so many other wonderful things. So, I kind of feel like I've gone/going through the worlds worst hazing ritual, but getting through it makes me part of an amazing club called Motherhood. I'm sure there are so many other experiences and milestones that are in store for me to experience that will continue to define me as a mother/parent, as I am sure I have just started on this crazy train, but at least at this point I feel like I better understand the sacrifices my parents did to raise a family. Okay, those are my thoughts on that subject - thanks for hanging in there while I got that out :)
Anyways, since moving here, David has used almost every opportunity he has had to use his wedding present - his infamous grill! We've grilled and rotisseried (is that a word? apparently not according to spell-check. Oh well you know what I mean) many different meals that we have certainly savored. Once I get the time/courage/initiative to use the grill I fully plan on working to master barbecue! Pulled pork, beer can chicken, smoked meats here I come! My head is kind of swimming with all the possibilities, hehe. I think we both are looking forward to acclimating to this new environment. I know I look forward to meeting people, making friends, going out and experiencing our new city. Or even just having people over. Having adult beverages!
This post definitely has my thoughts in fragments, sorry about that, but right now that is how my mind is operating. With so much going on my thoughts are everywhere. All in all the changes we have gone through, and are still going through, are good. Our life is evolving and constantly an adventure with new obstacles to overcome. At least that's how I'm trying to continuously look at it. Anyways, cheers to all the exciting things happening in life!